Why Don't You Be the Writer?
by xHEARTLIKEMINEx
Summary: Blair saw the cover and hated the author. Read the first page and hated Humphrey. Read the last page and ended up in Brooklyn. And it took her a third kiss with Dan to realize she had feelings for him.


When she saw the cover she was pissed. Serena had sent Blair a copy of The Inside after the two of them had a few phone calls about it. S had taken a more relaxed view on life (if that was even possible for her best friend) ever since finding out she was pregnant. It was some kind of new age way of parenting that made Blair cringe, Serena decided just to not have any negative thoughts anymore and so a book detailing her life in vivid detail was simply amusing and not horrifying. But Blair was not pregnant and even though Louis had accepted all sides to her, this displaying her life for the world to see. Sure, she already had that with Gossip Girl but there was something about it being a New York Times Best Seller that really got her blood boiling. 

After she read the first page, she knew who wrote it. Humphrey. She knew his style of writing, after all, she had seen the stories he had written for Serena. And the piece he wrote for W. And a few other things he had been working on since in their email correspondence. Her rage didn't subside, however when she realized that it was him. Instead it only increased. If he thought that he could do this and get invited to her wedding he had another thing coming. 

She was in a fitting for her wedding dress when she read the final page. She didn't know how she got out of her half-finished wedding dress. Or who collected her things. But if she had to put money on it, it was Dorota. She did, however, remember writing a quick note to Louis promising a return. She hoped she wasn't lying to him. She hoped she was wrong. Blair kept the copy of the book firmly in her hands throughout the entire plane ride. She did read back a few times to make sure she had understood it correctly but it only made the knot in her stomach tighten. The plane touched down and a car was waiting for her outside of the airport, Louis had only called to make sure she had a safe flight and like the gentleman he was he asked nothing more. Blair primped in the car ride over … that is until she realized who she was primping for. 

Dan Humphrey was her social suicide. She was in Monaco, living in a palace with ladies-in-waiting. They were actually referred to as such, instead of Blair simply giving them that nickname like she had once to her friends in high school. She was getting her fairytale and he made her leave that all because of a book he just had to publish. The whole Upper East Side was going to come crashing down on him soon enough and she wanted to make sure she got there before there was something more left than just the head of his Cabbage Patch Doll. 

He opened the door, his brow furrowed and his brown eyes wide. He looked a little bit like a cartoon character but instead of pointing that out to him, she simply thrust the book at him. "Save the pleasantries, Humphrey. We need to talk," she stated coolly as she stepped around him and into his loft. Her eyes immediately went to that damned garage door. She left a castle for a place with a garage door in it. Spinning on her heel, she faced him once more and quirked an eyebrow in his direction. "Do you want to explain yourself?" 

"What are you talking about, Blair?" He was nervous; he rubbed the back of his neck and looked down at his feet for a moment. "What is this?" 

She couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes. "I hope you know what that is considering you wrote it." 

"No I didn't."

"Oh, please. You are as transparent as a tourist in the city. And so is this book. I am too jet-lagged to play this game so once again I am going to ask you to save it." His jaw tightened and his shoulders slumped, he was giving up and now he just looked like he was trying to figure out where she was going with all of this. Actually, she was trying to figure out the same thing. And then she opened her mouth again, "You wrote about all of us. This is us." 

"I think the term is loosely based on –"

"Seriously, stop talking!" Now he was just getting on her nerves. "Though next time you want to try and throw that around you should get a little more creative with the names. Charlie Trout and Sabrina? You're better than that. Not much but you are." Insulting him was just a knee jerk reaction as Blair tried to find her footing in the conversation and his constant interjections wasn't making this any easier. "I liked Audrey."

"That's a little vain considering she was you," Dan flashed her a guilty look when she sent a glare in his direction.

"No. You don't get it. People will like her. I liked her. I didn't think –" she stopped for a moment before shutting her eyes, shaking her head and continuing. She was a big girl she could get through this. "I didn't think you would write me in a favorable light. I didn't think that you could make me likable." Blair had long since gotten over her insecurities on food but and since being with Louis she had been happy and sweet and caring and all those warm and fuzzy feelings. His kingdom seemed to take a liking to her. But that was all from strategic PR. This was different. "I expected Sabrina to steal the show. Which would have been fine. But she didn't." She shifted on her feet uncomfortably for a moment before locking her eyes with Dan. "I was rooting for her. I was rooting for her and Lonely Boy." Even though she was saying it, the words hit her like a punch and they seemed to have the same affect on Dan who stood there blinking slowly. "So I guess what I'm getting at, why I flew thousands of miles in a non-private plane, came to Brooklyn of all places to ask the writer why his loosely based character never told Audrey." At the very least, it was starting to make more sense to her. She seemed to be reaching for air a bit desperately at the end of all of that, which didn't make much sense, but neither did the fact that her palms were sweating slightly. The last time she felt this completely confusing whirlwind of emotions was when he proposed that they would kiss. "So why didn't he tell her he had feelings for her?"

Dan wet his lips and looked down again. This time it seemed more like he was searching for the words than he was getting nervous. And when he looked back at her he seemed to have a confidence that she had yet to find in the conversation, "Because she was happy. And she made it clear that there were no feelings between them. And she had enough suitors already."

"And he was too busy chasing the tail of Sabrina's crazy cousin. You reel in a lot of nutcases."

"Did you miss the part where one of those suitors Audrey had once sold her for a hotel?"

Blair's eyes narrowed and Dan flashed her that smile that made his eyes crinkle and Blair felt that horribly confusing feeling once more and suddenly the ring on her finger felt horribly constricting. He was going to just let it go, he never breathed a word about anything. He was going to go to her wedding and sit there when he had feelings for her. "I need you to write a sequel. I need to know that he's going to be okay. I need him to have a happy ending. You can't just end it like you did. So you have to do something -"

"Blair. Shut up," Dan said in just about the same tone she had started this whole exchange. He took a step closer and Blair knew that it would be best to take a step back but she stayed stationary. "I don't know about a sequel," his voice was lowered, like they were having a quiet conversation for just the two of them despite the fact they were in an empty loft. "But I am going to do something." Before Blair could ask, Dan read her mind and cupped her face in his hands. "This, I'm going to do this." And then his kissed her.

This was the second time she was cheating on Louis. That made her a god awful fiancé but it did show her something. Apparently kissing Dan Humphrey for the third time was the charm. This wasn't choreographed or forced like the first two. This was sweet and she swore that her knees started to feel a bit like jelly by the time Dan ran his hand through her hair to cup the back of her head. This was the ending she wanted from the book. And maybe this was the fairytale she had been chasing the whole time.

But that was getting a little bit ahead of herself. That's why most movies didn't have a flash forward to the future, they just showed the big kiss. The foot pop and really, who was she to deny her fictitious movie viewers?

**Author's Note:** This may stay as is or I may write more chapters, I haven't decided. I am probably going to come back and edit though. I haven't proofread this and so you'll have to excuse any mistakes. I just promised myself I would post something up on here soon. Alright, I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
